I’ve started and stopped a lot of shit. I was an entertainment blogger, a podcaster, a social media manager, and prob some other shit that I can’t think of. Everything I’ve ever done was in the same arena, but different topics and projects.
I’m a talented person and I’m not ashamed to say that. I’m intelligent, I’m talented, and anything I set my mind to do gets done. Always. I appreciate that about myself and I’ve enjoyed every project I’ve ever taken on because they all meant something to me at the time. My Achilles heel has always been that I lacked passion for pretty much everything I did. It would always start off strong but then it fizzled out and when the flame went out bitch it was OUT! I never understood how someone like me could just not be able to put my finger on what it is I wanted out of life. I mean honestly speaking what I want is to live a life of luxury that doesn’t involve work or even having to speak to people directly. However, I understand that at this time that may be a little…out of my reach. So I had to settle for finding joy in something. I guess.
Ah, that word, “joy”. The fuck is joy? I mean I know what it is but idk how many if ever times I’ve truly felt that feeling. I’ve definitely never felt it in anything that I’ve ever done. I felt some happiness in it. Some relief in getting it done even, but joy? No. There was no joy in it. It took me 25 years to realize that more shit in this life feels like a chore than not. So finding the joy would have to include not doing anything that felt like work and labor. In a country built off of work and labor I just was not understanding how that could happen.
Then this happened.
So ya girl is gifted. Idk what to call it. Physic, intuitive, telepathically nosey, I don’t know. All I know is I be knowing and what I know is true. Period. I’ve had this gift amongst others for some time now. However, I just started sharing it with the world and it’s still not 100% there. Honestly, I don’t like the culture of spirituality because too many people take advantage of it (a story for another time) but I do enjoy doing readings for people and helping them to better understand themselves. God gave me this gift and I appreciate it but I won’t abuse it. I’m not a robot, I’m a person so hell no I don’t sit around reading people all day. I don’t even understand that. Also, my temperament won’t allow me to talk to more than 3 people a day and I’m one of the 3. I still do readings just more on a collective level because that’s what souly resonates with me.
Then this happened.
Ya girl is so fucking smart that I moved my happy ass from Texas to Maryland without a job during the kickoff of a global pandemic ☺️ prior to the move I wasn’t worried about a job because it’s the DMV. If it’s one thing I knew I could get it was a job and Mumbo sauce. I’ve gotten NEITHER. Now, what was I to do? I had some savings, I got the stimulus check, and I have skills soooooo I got and am still getting my hustle on. Period. I know you ain’t think I was gonna fold!? So boom we got consulting for small businesses popping and the spiritual business popping.
Then this happened.
You guessed it. I was wayyyyyy more interested in the spiritual business than the consulting business. Don’t get me wrong I am GREAT at what I do. You can ask anyone who’s worked with me. However, it just doesn’t speak to my soul like it used to. I’ll still do it. I love helping people succeed but it’s just not my main squeeze anymore. So spiritual business is doing good. Things are coming along and then BOOM!
I actually stick with it. I actually still enjoy it. I actually still love it. Before now, I never had an outlet for all the things I knew and wanted to express. I felt alone and crazy because I couldn’t understand how I could express certain things without coming off like a wacko. Also, let’s not even begin to get into the stereotypes that come with black divinity. But anywaysssss, I found a space that spoke to me. I was able to connect with people openly and confidently for the first time. It was the outlet I needed. And you already know…and then what?
While being on cell block crib I also discovered my love for cooking and juicing. Ya girl is already hefty so I was not about to be fucking with a whole bunch of bullshit foods will being stuck in the house. So I dedicated myself to eating better and I decided to post about it. I found a lot of joy in preparing my meals and sharing them with my following so I kept doing it. So far so good. I even turned my juicing into a side hustle and it’s a lot of fun. A lot of damn work too, but I really do enjoy it. So Bri, what exactly is the point of this post?
The point is to try everything because fuck the rules. You gotta figure out you and no outside influence should dictate what you do with your life and your time. If I didn’t try all my interests I wouldn’t know what wasn’t my interest.
Lastly, mantles are given not chosen. No one could’ve told me this spiritual, foodie hybrid situation would be my thing but it is. It brings me joy to do this. Even with the work. I’m happy to do it. I never thought I’d be happy to do anything because labor is not appealing in any way, shape, or form to me. However, for this, I will make an exception. I always believed in the practical. I believed in what everyone around me believed in. You go to school, you get a job, then you retire. That’s it. That’s all. That lifestyle has never appealed to me. I’ve never desired to do any of those things. I just did it because I had no idea that there was another way. My greatest prayer is that by forging the path less traveled for my bloodline, that I will create a whole new world for the generation to come. There is more to life than the practical. There is more to your life than other people’s dreams. We all deserve to go for what we truly desire for ourselves. I desire the life I have now. I desire what it is that I do now. I’m happy. I’ve found the joy. I pray that you reading this find your joy too!
So cheers to my scatterbrained ass who took the scenic route to find what I actually like doing in life. I’ll probably start and stop some more stuff down the road but for now I’m happy to grow roots here. At the foot of my mantle, where I belong.